Listening to a recent message by Kris Vallotton gave me a second option of what to do with disappointment or things that defer my hope.
I’ve been praying and I’d like to think also believing God for a specific breakthrough in my life. And I have worked rather hard to make sure my confessions align with my prayers, that I let only trusted people speak onto this area of my life. I’ve been very militant about it to the point of ruffling some feathers in my family. But hey, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!
So recently, a probable answer to prayer showed up in my radar and being totally honest, my hopes were raised. I was already crafting my testimony to be shared in church at the earliest opportunity.
But it all ended up in disappointment so bad that the rivers behind my eyes burst their banks in public view of my church folks at a small group Bible study! I was in so much disappointment that I was calculating 20 ÷ 4 as = 4, till I was corrected by a student!
I couldn’t contain the tears. I tried. I looked away from everyone, avoiding eye contact. But was totally unsuccessful in building a dam to keep the waters back.
Looking back now, I’m grateful the tears streamed down my face in church because like the Trinity, three ladies got around me and pulled me out of despair.
One was sat next to me like Jesus does, with her hands on my back praying over me at first. She then invited the other two ladies that asked if I was okay. One stood over me, hands on my head like the Father (Psalm 139) and prayed; the third lady crouched next to me with a box of tissues in one hand and her other hand on my knees like the Holy Spirit.
They three stayed till I was able to regain some compusure and actually talk. To show you it was no ordinary bank overflow! It was a deep hearted sob.
(You three ladies, if you ever read this, know that I’m very grateful.)
Why am I sharing this? Like Kris Vallotton preached, he planted the seeds of his struggles as books to bless others with the stories of the victories he had experienced through those issues.
This blog post is my planting. What tools did God give me to get out of the pit?
HE sent people who were sensitive enough to notice something was off with me, and were willing to get involved and get their hands ‘dirty’ in getting me out of the pit of disappointment.
Being closed in instead of opening up through difficult times is a lie and a tool of the enemy to keep us bound for as long as possible.
In those ladies reaching out to me and me accepting their offer of comfort, I shared what the sources of my pain were and got freedom.
We are not meant to do life on our own and I should have known better when I decided to keep my challenges to myself. But I have no regrets because GOD works all things together for my good.
Sharing made me realize how much of a mountain I had made a molehill into. The more I talked about it, the less of a big deal it was. In that only, I experienced more freedom.
So get around people you know and trust and can be safely vulnerable with. Let them into your mess. They are probably better placed to get you out with a message from GOD than you are to hear anything directly for yourself.
To your victories from disappointments, . . .