Almost two months since my last post! Guys, this is not good. Not for me. Not for you, my dear readers. I can’t keep apologising if I don’t do something about it. Maybe I should bring myself under some sort of contract to blog with some regularity or else . . . (suggestions welcome!)
Anyway, this post has been stewing in the back of my mind for a while. Not that I like food that much! I’ve even mentioned it to him and we had a laugh about it. So here we go, here are the 21 things (I hope I get to 21 . . . Pray for me . . . Maybe I’ll just stop at a factor of 21):
- He did initially not notice when the house needed a clean especially since it has brown carpets. This one wound me up a lot when we started living together. I had a weekly cleaning regimen that I borderline strictly adhered to and by my maths, that regimen now had to be bi-weekly with another fully grown adult in the house.
But I conceded that to stick to a weekly clean. But my yours-truly did not instinctively receive the ‘clean’ alert. Which leads me to point 2.
- If I want anything done, I have to spell it out explicitly and not wish he can read my mind or that it was obvious like it is to me. So I had to assign house duties with regular reminders till it became part of his routine. Duties like taking the bins out weekly, vacuuming the house and mopping from time to time, fixing stuff around the house, with the first two being a major score for me when I didn’t have to prod and remind or hint.
- I really enjoy cooking for and eating with others. Before he moved in with me, I didn’t mind eating cereal and biscuits and rice three times a day, seven times a week. Not that I did not like good food, I just couldn’t be asked. It was easier to fast than to cook! Well, that led to me looking like those charity adverts on TV in my first year in Manchester.
Now that I had someone to compliment or even laugh at my cooking, I happily cooked away and even added new recipes to the regulars either pinched from the internet or inspired from visiting friends. Not everyday pounded yam! Sometimes chicken traybake, abi bake tray, or beef pie!
- I theorise that men are generally more hairy than women, based on a single-sample evidence space of my tiled-white shower cubicle! I shall leave you to analyse that one.
- I have more peace and joy when I focus on the really good things and beautiful strengths of him. I initially was focused on all he was not doing well which were a few, tiny things but it bothered me many.
But I had a shift of heart or mind and started to better celebrate the great things about him and compliment him more on those and the little things took their rightful positions of being little!It’s the 80-20 rule here. Focus on the 80% that’s good to receive proper perspective for the not-so-good 20%.
- Negative mindsets affect the mood in the home, changing it from one of freedom and love to one of fear and walking on eggshells.
Talking to someone does not mean that actual positive and intimate relating is taking place. Communication is not just words coming out of my mouth; it’s the words from my heart, the tone of my voice, eye contact or lack of, body language, etc.
- It pays to know the love language(s) of those in your closest important relationships. That way, you know when they are loving you and you know how best to show them you love them.
I did not realise Acts of Service was a big one for me, until he moved in with me as I’ve lived on my own for quite a while. I think I inherited that from my mama. I really love it when he makes me breakfast or lunch or dinner. And then when he brings it to me? That’s like a hat-trick!His love language is Gifts (not mine) and Touch (mine) and I’m learning to show him love through those.
If I think of the other 14 things I’ve learnt, there shall be a part 2 and 3 to this post. But till then, enjoy these 7 and thank you for reading.
To your continuous learning, . . .
P.S.: If you’re wondering who this gentleman is, then ‘comment’ your question below.