Teacher, Mr T: Two lessons ago, we learnt the formula for the area of a circle. Who remembers it?
Alex the clueless: I do!
Benny the bully: It’s not a wedding ceremony, Alex!
*Class shouts at once: PIES ARE SQUARED!!! Laughter erupts!
Mr T smiles: Fair enough, but remember to put your hands up to answer next time.
Class: Sorry sir!
Mr T: All’s forgiven. I’m very pleased you at least remembered something. It’s pi-r-squared. Today, we’re going to learn the formula for the circumference of a circle.
Alex, with an irritated face: Eww!!
Mr T: Why ‘eww‘?
Alex: I thought circumcision was painful?!
Nedu the nerd: CIR-CUM-FE-RENCE, not circumcision!!
Alex: Oh! They sound alike. Aren’t they the same thing?
Benny and Nedu shake heads and mutter something to each other, glance at Alex, then come up giggling.
Alex looks to the teacher, embarrassed with a puppy face, pleading for rescue.
Mr T: Okay, everyone. Your attention here, thank you. It’s cir-cum-fe-rence, okay? It’s the fancy word for measuring the length around the edge of a circle. Does anyone know the formula for that yet?
Nedu: I have!
Mr T: Please share!
Nedu, speaking slowly: It’s pie times …
Benny, rudely interrupting: Pie times! Are you having a laugh?! I know of New York times, Sunday Times, Financial Times. But Pie Times! *Shakes head!* And I’ve always thought you were really smart but now I’m …
Nedu: Well, if you’d have allowed me finish my sentence.
Mr T, looking cross: Benny, another apology again today. This time to Nedu.
Benny mutters his apology: Sorry Nedu.
Nedu, acknowledging his apology with a nod, carries on: The formula is pie times diameter.
Mr T: well done, Na…
Maddie: dial a meter?! How do you do that?
*Walks to the teacher’s table, gets a meter rule, and holds it up to her ear, mimicking Nedu’s voice: hello?!
*Class erupts in laughter*
Nedu looks visibly annoyed and impatient, then says: You obviously have not heard that word before, Maddie.
Nedu spells it out: d-i-a-m-e-t-e-r
Maddie: Oh. *Walks back to her seat, head bowed*
Mr T turns away, and prays: God, why do I have this crazy class?!
Turns back and sighs rather loudly: Phew!!
Mr T: Nedu, can you explain what the diameter is?
Nedu: Sure sir. *Looking snobbishly at M*, the diameter is the longest straight length across the circle from one side to the opposite side going through the centre of the circle.
Mr T: Thanks Nedu. Does that make sense Maddie?
Maddie: Yes sir. Is it like dividing a pie into two equal halves?
Class laughs, following with comments of foodie!!
Mr T: Yes, good thinking. Come to the board and show the rest of the class your pie picture from yesterday.
*Maddie walks to the board and does so.
Mr T: Very good.
Mr T to the rest of the class: So remember, the length around the edge of a circle is pie times di-a-me-ter.